"I'm Not Going To Spend My Life Being A Color."

Cealy and I were reading one of her library books yesterday.  I started getting a couple 'educational' books.  We were reading a book about opposites.

I was reading away, when I stopped.  "Mommy, read it."  I couldn't.  The book had a black character on one side and a white on the other.  Opposites?  I didn't want to read it.  I wanted to skip it.  But Cealy will catch you if you're sneaky.

I don't want Cealy to be "colorblind."  I understand those repercussions.  I want her to embrace differences when she sees them.  I want all my children to seek out differences and want them to be on their team.  I don't want them to think anyone is opposite from them, because deep down we all have pain, love, joys, and dreams.

I just could not read to Cealy that this author she loved so much says black and white are opposites.  And I guess when you dig into the color wheel, they are on opposite sides.  Cealy knows her brothers are black.  They are framed right next to her bed, and she hugs them every.night.  I don't want her to think her brothers are opposite of her. 

I had to think about it, and then I brought the book back to her.  And so it begins.  "Cealy, this says, black and white are opposites.  Just like a zebra's stripes.  They are opposite colors."  Now she was off to play, she is 3.  But I needed her to understand more.  Because at 3, she could still make someone feel as if they did not belong.  "Our world is filled with amazing differences.  Some people have short hair, red hair, even blue hair, and some people have no hair.  Some people are brown, white, or black.  We all really have different shades.  Aunt Keke is much darker than mommy.  Some people have one mommy and some people have two!"

"Okay, Mommy." 

I don't know what that okay meant.  But she heard me.  She hugged her brother's picture the same before bed.  I will continue to talk about differences to Ceal, and make sure she sees that as beautiful, because that is my job.  I will educate my sons and make sure they know the world around them.  Being black is different than being white.  But we are not opposites.

I just went to my computer, and turned on one of my favorite M.Jackson classics, and sang, "I'm not going to spend my life being a color."

Huh? What's Your Favorite?

Are you looking for a gift this Christmas?  I want to share with you Cealy and Sebastian's favorite toy from last year.  I mean favorite.  365 days a year favorite.  Friends come over, let's play with it favorite.  Jaw-Dropping Favorite.  It is a must on every child's list.

Do we think this?  Fancy.  Rock climbing wall...slide, driving wheel, ship?  No.  This is not it.

 Their ultimate favorite toy is the BOX this great toy came in above.  Yes, you heard me.  I am talking all day long let's play in our "fort."  Friends come over, Thanksgiving with 6 kids, and no one wants to play with the kitchen...the ship...the dollhouse...

Save your money friends...Go to Lowes and ask one of the sweet workers for a big box in the back...tell them you'll even pay $15 for it...it will be your Best.Present.Ever.

Happy Tuesday!

Happy Tuesday indeed, I just got 10 new pictures of the most beautiful boys!!  Oh my heart is full and I have been smiling since.  M & D are beautiful, and I cannot wait to have them home!

Smile.

Cealy helped me rake all the leaves and bag them.  Then I put her in the tree and told her to take a nap.  She thought that was hilarious...I L.O.V.E. this child.

Feed or let him feed himself is thy question?  He loves to feed himself, and I love to clean him up for 20 minutes?  I L.O.V.E this child.

Try Reading to an Inquisitive 3 Year Old.

What is that?  A poster. 

Why is the little girl holding the poster?   Because she is taping it up...

Why is she taping it up?   Because she is running for president.

Why is her hand still on the poster if she taped it up?  Because it is a picture.

Why is her face sad?  Because she thinks the boy next to her will win.

Why is the boy going to win?  He is not, the little girl thinks he might.

Why is that little girl sad in the background?  I don't know she is just in the park, the story is not about that little girl.

Why is she sad though?  Cealy, if you want me to read the book you have to stop.asking.questions.

A little later, Cealy ran into the kitchen and said, "Mommy, I bet that little girl was sad at the park because she lost her daddy and couldn't find him."   I bet you are right, Cealy.

Some Fun.

Queen Miss Match.

I turn around and Mr. Jokes is hiding.

Well that's funny.  You have two high chairs?  Ah, yes I do!  And I sure do put Sebastian in which ever one is clean. 

Biology.

I will probably write many posts concerning this topic.  It seems to be important to some people.

Today I felt great about it, because I had an adoption class.  Our agency has a.m.a.z.i.n.g. classes for parents to take before their children come home.  We should all take classes.  I realized so many things I do wrong with my children now.  I feel great about being able to redo some of my mistakes and show my children where I was wrong.

Our teacher today started out with a powerful quote, "Research in neuroscience shows how we parent our children affects their brain biologically."  No matter how our children come to us, friends, we as parents affect them biologically.

I was taken that moment.  Taken.

Biologically?  Wow.  I can affect my sons biologically?  I can encourage them, praise them, discipline them, and above all love them and this in turn will affect them biologically?

How amazing is that?  I have the weight of affecting my boy's lives biologically.  We will teach our sons how to live moral lives and they will pass this on to their children and their children's children.

This is nothing short of miraculous.

We will love our children above all else.  We will encourage our children to love their neighbor as God has loved us.

How about another one?  Are you ready for this?  I almost cried when our social worker/teacher told us this.  I almost said, "You have no idea how much you have lifted me up, thank you!"

"Our mistakes as long as we repair them will make our children stronger in the long run.  So if you make a mistake and you apologize and repair that mistake, your children will be stronger because of it."

Did you just read that line? 

Did you hear me when I said your children will be better because of you repairing your mistakes?

She then said, "Our shortcomings are a good thing, as long as you see them and address them."

I breathed a big sigh.  I am human.  I will continue to make mistakes, but I must address those for my children.  I must continue to put myself in time-out like I did this week, and tell my children I messed up and mommy is in trouble for it.  30 minutes won't work for her time-out but let's drop it down to 4 minutes?  (Cealy kept saying, "Mommy, please get out of time-out.  I forgive you."  I yelled by the way because she threw a book.  I needed the time-out)

I love to learn.  I hope to learn how to parent, teach, and be a better person altogether until God brings me home.

Boys.

Just going to the restroom this morning at 6:30am and I find...

He starts going from the second he gets up.  Of course he put his sister's shoe in there and not his own.

Who?

He is 5 months old.

He sits up in his boppy with his fingers in his mouth.  I want to hold him, love him, snuggle him.

I dreamed about him last night. 

He has minor special needs.  And when I sent his whole background to my mother she said nothing even a doctor would operate on.  He may just need to wear braces on his legs for a little bit.

I talked to God a lot today.  "Now, he is going to be adopted right?  God, please answer me.  I need to know that someone will climb the highest mountain for him."

I see Sebastian's and Cealy's face on every baby, on every child.  It would be easier if I didn't.  Believe me, nothing is more difficult than seeing your son and daughter's face on so many orphans who need a mother and a father.
 
What would I do if Sebastian was born and had to fight for someone to love him?

What would I do if Cealy jumped up and down for her friends when they found forever homes, but never found one herself?

I asked for it.

I asked that God make me a better disciple for His son, Jesus.  I asked that my heart be changed forever, and my body filled with the Holy Spirit.

And there it was.  My children were His children.  Suffering, begging, praying, hoping, that someone on this Earth wanted them.

I am going to climb the highest mountain for my two boys.  I am going to love them, encourage them, and walk every day that God gives me with them.

Who is going to love this baby and all the other children?  

Sippy Cups.

Yesterday I searched the whole house for Sebastian's sippy cups.  Where on earth could all your sippy cups be?  We are no longer on bottles, which is a huge accomplishment in this house hold considering it took Cealy about 2 years.  I am missing 3 sippy cups.  Every day I ask Sebastian where he sippy cup is...

Today I decided it was time to do the laundry...

3 sippy cups, friends, 3...in the washer.

Can you just see him?  He is done drinking, walks right into the laundry room, opens up the washer and throws his cup right on in.

Maybe if I did laundry more often...

Thanks Be to Women...

A thankful post has to be to all my adorable women friends.  I am a girl's girl.  No one has ever confused me for a guy's girl, "You don't even know she's a woman...she can hang with the best of us"  Ummm, No. Not me.  Just ask around.

Maybe I freak out a sweet woman in the car while we are waiting at a red light.  I see her tired but smiling, doing tricks to make her tots happy in the back.  I wink or maybe wave and she is probably thinking who is that crazy?  Why, yes that is me just thinking you are awesome.

Danny is my best friend.  He and I have about the most fun ever, but I sure am thankful for my lady friends.  Even just walking in the grocery, you see other moms, riding the struggle bus, have 3 kids attached to their cart, and singing "The Wheels on the Bus."

I drive a van, enough said.  Danny is not rocking that van to work, he is deciding between two different SUVs...

Aisha and I always, yes always find ourselves alone with the children.  Now the men are around, but we cannot find them.  It is like we came her together, what happened? 

We were at Lincoln Park Zoo last weekend when a man came in the gorilla's indoor habitat in a fuss.  He found a peach of a worker, and "Oh Mam, you have to tell me where the restrooms are, they are open right?? I mean this baby here has a doody and I have got to have a changing table, you have to help me."  When he was told that in fact LP Zoo is free and there are not restrooms at every corner, he freaked.  Even the woman gorilla wondered what on earth his problem was.  I just wanted to take the child for him, change him on the floor like any woman would do, and carry about my day.  But I let him struggle, and I hope he went home to his wife and explained what a terrible morning he had...to see her reaction...it would be great.

I know, I know, it's hard to be a man too, or is it?

Is There Really a Human Race?

I am ever so thankful for books.  I hope to get my favorite quotes painted on our library room wall.

One of my very favorites is by Jamie Lee Curtis, called, Is There Really a Human Race?

"Sometimes it's better not to go fast.  There are beautiful sights to be seen when you're last.
Shouldn't it be that you just try your best?  And that more important than beating the rest?
Shouldn't it be looking back at the end that you judge your own race by the help that you lend?  So, take what's inside you and make big, bold choices.  And for those who can't speak for themselves, use BOLD voices."              -I hope to do just that.

Thankful for Sebastian.

 November is for being thankful, so I must start with one of my sons, Sebastian. 

I am thankful because, he is all boy.  He is such a boy that when my neighbor comes over she tells me I am her birth control....every time.

I am thankful because he loves: Toilets, trashcans, sinks, vents, balls (to throw at people), hitting, pulling hair, smiling, pacifiers, climbing, and hugging.-And that list is in correct order.

I am thankful because he is preparing me for a life with two more boys.  I am every so thankful for it.  When people see my at lets say, My Gym, they usually remark, "So you are adopting two?  Two more?"  Oh Yes, I am, and will they ever be the team!

I am thankful because I get it.  He is a bear.  I just LOVE him.  I never sit down, not for a single minute.  Because the second I do, his spider man hands have worn off and he falls off the wall he was trying to climb.  (Brooke sent me a picture this week of Max sitting on top of the table when she thought she could use the restroom for 30 seconds).

I am thankful because he is not laid back, so I do not have to work out on the regular.  Last week in Chicago, I was walking to the park with a friend whose son is Sebastian's age and I kept looking into her stroller when we got to the park.  He just sat there, patient as can be, ready whenever she was ready to get him out.  Was he asleep?  I didn't know, because my son was back bending arching screaming mad and needed out right then.

Danny took out the trash today (a first)  and heard it singing.  "Amanda, did you throw a toy away?"  I didn't answer, hoping he got the message and then he went digging in to find the toy Sebastian threw away...

I often hear Danny saying that Sebastian won't sit still for him to put on pajamas.  "No worries, he won't sit still to put on socks, my love."

I am so very thankful, because I am learning a completely different way to parent.  Each child is different right?  Time outs are often.  Curiosity never gets old.  And he is always up for an adventure.  Who could not love that?

I am so thankful for his love.  He thinks I am the end all be all.  The second I do sit down he comes to sit in my lap.  Ohhh, the LOVE I have for this child.

The picture above is Ceal and Cruz pretending to drive their space ship.  The picture below is Sebastian picking up the art easel and throwing them both back into the wall.  Time out= smiling.

Going in for a hit.  My mother keeps saying, "Oh Mandy he is just hitting because he loves her so much." - I bet that is how my mom handled me hitting?

Belinda.

Our lovely Belinda, who has been our "daughter" for sometime, recently lost both her parents.

I signed up to support a child with my first classroom through ChildFund.  I did not teach what we were suppose to in Science (just for a couple of weeks, friends) and instead taught my classroom about what other children experience around the world.  They were in shock and wanted to help. 

I told them to each bring in one dollar a month.  They would sign the dollar with their signature and put it in our glass classroom jar.  Boy did they love signing their dollars.  The first month we received pictures of our dearest Belinda.  She was a couple years behind my students and they just loved her.  She wrote letters and explained that she was going to school, eating, and helping around her home.  She always said she was so thankful and had nothing to give us- Ahhh, if she only knew how much she was giving my students and myself.

Years later, and I still have this dear child.  I wrote a post about her last year.  When she received our Christmas money she sent in a picture of her standing with her stuff.  A mattress, blankets-for her siblings, new shoes, and a new school uniform.  Makes my heart smile, this dear child.

So please keep her in your prayers.  She lives in Zambia, and now both of her parents have passed away.  I got a letter from a family friend saying she went to live with her aunt far from where she used to live with her mother.

I just wrote her a letter.  Hope to hear from her soon. 

Hot Chocolate Anyone?

Why do I drink my hot chocolate so fast that I always burn my tongue.  Why can't I be adult about it and just let it sit for a little?  Every time.  I can just see my mom just telling me to hold on, and me thinking it is going to go somewhere fast if I don't drink it in a hurry.

Real House What?

So I decided to.day.  I am no longer watching Real Housewives of Anything.  Need no applause, I know, I know most of you are wondering what in the world I was doing watching it anyway.  I was trapped.  I watched the first seasons and then I HAD to keep watching.  You laugh.  I really liked watching it.  Plus, I love talking to my sisters about each episode.  Until to.day.  You see, I seem to get more upset than the cast members when they are constantly arguing and mean to each other.   There are no real life problems in these shows, but how much money does that cost?   The show is anything but real.  Then one of the ladies gets a car as a gift that cost $100,000 dollars.  Real. Life?

I realized right then.  You wonder why I didn't realize years ago?  Me too.  That car could send 3,333 children to school in a place where they cannot afford to go.  4,166 more mothers could afford to feed their children every month.  For so many children who cannot eat or attend school, this car could send 21 children to school for 13 years, my friends.  21 children would graduate from school with 13 years of schooling behind them for the price of this car.  I do not care how much money you make, buying a car that expensive is not real.

Real is looking at a photo of the most beautiful boys in the world and knowing they do not know they are part of a family...yet.  Real is knowing when I pick up my sons I will be leaving behind millions of kids that want nothing more than to come home with me.  Real is hugging a woman Sunday whose husband lost his job: who works everyday with my grandmother and others suffering from Alzheimer's and still has not enough gas money to get to work.  Real is hearing from a friend that her daughter is not feeling well and needs a transfusion on top of getting chemo once a week.  Real is hearing her stories about mothers and fathers falling to their knees when their children cry out in pain at the hospital.  Real is wanting to celebrate with a friend who is newly 12 weeks pregnant, but does not want to get her hopes up because her last child died 2 hours after birth.  Real is a miscarriage.  Real is beautiful too.  Celebrating a clear scan is real.  Celebrating my nephew being two is real.  Celebrating our beautiful boys and brothers every time we wake is real.  Celebrating Avery peeing on the potty is oh so real.  Sometimes I wonder if they are sheltered and don't know that real exists or is it show?

Fact: I am forever changed by my sons.  Let me never fall victim to a life where money is no object.  I will forever fight to feed children in a world where they are dying everyday.  I will forever fight to help families bring home their children if it means I never buy luxury things.  I will forever fight to help pay medical bills for a family that is drowning in debt.  I will forever remember that my money is not really mine, but God's.  Do with it what He wish.

More Please.

Sebastian keeps putting his cup in this exact spot of the fridge.  This morning I realized it is always empty when he puts it there.  Then I realized he watches Ceal and I get our water, and he is telling me to fill it back up please.  As soon as I filled it he smiled and ran off.  I am sure he is wondering how in world it took me a week to figure it out.

ALSO, I could not find our channel changer anywhere yesterday.  I was sure it was God telling me no television during the kiddos naps.  Then I went to load up the dishwasher and there is was...inside the dishwasher.  I can't believe I didn't look there.  Really?  Sebastian loves to hide things. 

You remember what?

You know when you think you are doing a great job.  I was in Chicago, took the kiddos to the park, Disney Store, played games, and ran around the hotel for a l.o.n.g. time.  Could I be anymore fun, I thought?  The next day Cealy asked to play a game.  I said sure.  She said, "You pretend you're Cealy and sleeping and I will be watching TV in the other room.  Get up to go potty and I will get real mad at you."

WHAT?!?

I said, "What do you mean?"  "I was mean to you about going potty the 10th time you got up last night because you didn't want to sleep and you remember that o.n.l.y.?

She sure acted me out too.  She breathed real hard, and then said, "Are you serious?  Go potty and then no more water!"

She is hilarious.  Then she acted out her teacher.  She was super sweet the whole time.  And said. "I can't call on anyone until I see bubbles in your mouth.  I am waiting.  One more bubble. Oh good, we can begin."

Chicago.

Hold on... A little Halloween first.  We did not go out this year due to the peach that came to the door first.  Dressed in a scary costume and had hose over his face.  Ceal was scarred and was not going out.  In fact the next morning, first thing, she asked, "Mommy it isn't Halloween anymore, right?"  So I didn't really think the holiday was that great, and Cealy solidified it for me.  People dressed up to scare us is not something we look forward to...

Oh goodness I LOVE this child.  He ate sucker after sucker.

Highlight of our night was Ceal's and Sebastian's friends coming over (mine too)!  Taylor, Max, Drew, and Kate came and made us smile.  Taylor bought Ceal two books to help her with school.  Love them all.

 

Chicago Here We Come.

Oh Goodness I could not wait to go.  It was going to be like old times.  It was going to be so much fun. 

I think I forgot the hard times and may have just remembered the super fun times.  Anyone?

One I had two children in tow.  Chicago is not made for double strollers.  Dan has to work the whole time, and I knew I was super woman and it was no problem.

We went to my school, our old building to see our best buddies, and toured around downtown.  I took them to the Disney Store for reasons I am not sure and came out with 3 bags.  Okay so I am not the BEST with remembering things.  I see a sign for what I remember to be a super fast pizza joint and head that way with my pumpkins.  It was about 5 blocks but the only place that I could get in and out fast and we were h.u.n.g.r.y.  Buca here we come.  Why did I think Buca was Luca?  Anyone?  I could not wait to get a hot slice of pizza and head home.  Oh no, Buca is a sit down family style, yummy yam, not good place to take your hungry kids.  So I leave and go to Cozi.  It is not stroller friendly.  I had two doors to try and wiggle through.  I failed and stomped and then grabbed food and headed back to our sweet hotel.

Amazing Exhibit we visited! 

We went to the Lincoln Park Zoo which is awesome and free.  Our best friends from Chicago met us there.  Oh how I miss them! 

 The drive down reflect both of their personalities.  Ceal is just relaxing and eventually falls asleep.  Sebastian kicked the seat and never closed his eyes...

Their favorite game...run the hallways.  But wait it gets more fun.  Please note the hallways are not walled off and look out into the vast hotel...super.  LOVE following my children and hypervinalating thinking one was going to fall.

Sebastian's favorite game is to play with the trashcan and the toilet.  When I opened the toilet Friday morning I found the ONLY pair of pajamas I brought him...super.

Ceal with her baby...waiting for her brothers to run around the hotel.  We can't wait!

The LOVE I have for this family.

Gross, Lion eating.  He was licking it before he went for the big bite and I asked if we could leave.

Ceal and her best friend from Chicago-Danny!