Our Dominic.

 

This is our Dominic. This is his sweet, loving, mischevious face. Dominic has a love for life like I've never seen before. The minute he wakes up, he is ready to rock and roll. Nothing slows him down, and learning something new is engrained in his everyday routine. He continues to amaze me everyday. His sister, Cealy, and him are two peas in a pod. He has given her such confidence in who she is. He teaches her new things, and follows her around to be by her side. Dominic gives his mother more love than she ever dreamed of getting. His hugs, constant kisses, puckered lips, and dance moves make me one happy mama. He is the bravest child you will ever meet. Shots at the doctor only bring a wince. When I don't understand something he is trying to say to me, he acts it out. He is three years old and is acting out what he is trying to convey. "Mommy," and puts a shot in his side and pretends to cry and I say no were are not going to the doctor today. Smart, loving, beautiful, and full of energy, I am so incredibly blessed with our son, Dominic Daniel.

Our Malachi.

Our hilarious, booty shaking, skipping everywhere, food loving, hug giving, Malachi is a gift from God. He finds me first thing in the morning and wants to be held. Then juice of course with cherrios, before breakfast. Malachi loves to smile, is obsessed with pictures, and loves every person he meets. He will play trains with his brothers or dolls with his sisters. He wants those around him to feel happy. Today at the doctor's office, he wrapped my arms around his chest. He wanted to make sure the doctors knew I was his mommy, and they were not to take him anywhere. As soon as he could trust them, he took their tools and started working on his brother. He was not quite as brave as Dominic when it came to blood draws and shots, but he did much better than I ever would. He is a hero of mine, this child. He makes me better.

Today, we were playing outside. We had such a fun day after our doctor's appointment. We went swimming and out to eat. I was sitting in my chair on the driveway when he walked up with tears streaming down his eyes. "Malachi, what is wrong?" He asks me where B (his sister) is? I say, she is in Congo, my love. God will bring her home to us soon. He doesn't stop crying so I hold him and I cry with him. He asks me if she is on an airplane to come see him. I cry and tell him no but soon. He didn't skip for the rest of the night, and when we put him to sleep he asked again. "Mommy, where is B?" Oh my heart, I am sad for him. I know God will bring her home. He is good all the time. Please pray for Malachi and B, and Dominic who wish to be together, and all the brothers and sisters in this world who are separated permanently. We are so very blessed we will have them all together soon.

All before 10am.

I wiped 5 booties all before 10am. I have never in my life seen so much poop.

Highlight of my morning: Dominic running into the kitchen,"Look Mommy Loooook." And there he holds a book right side up for the first time. We are learning.

It's Her Turn.

Our oldest daughter is seven years old. She is extremely bright, hardworking, playful, and silly. My stomach was in knots before our first meeting. She was not going to like me? "Don't expect much, Amanda," is what Danny would always tell me. "I know what you are hoping for, and I just don't want you to be hurt."

Then the day came. The first time I saw her, she ran and leaped into my arms. It was a scene out of a movie. She smiled so big, I could see she was losing teeth and some were growing in. She held my hand everywhere and would just stare at me, as if she was dreaming. I still can't believe how much she trusted me, and loved me right away. She loved my hair. She braided it and brushed it over and over again. I have never in all my life seen a child eat as fast as our oldest daughter. She would cram all the noodles in her mouth and ask for more. Her first taste of ice cream kept her giggling for hours. She, Dominic, and Malachi would stir the ice cream until it was soup, and then lick the spoon until all was gone. She would write her name on her new whiteboard, say her numbers and abcs. She ran faster than me, started swimming right away, and quickly became my hero in 8 short days.

The last time I saw her she was waving goodbye. She wasn't looking at me the same way. She was so confused. But you are my mother? I couldn't explain it, because I was gasping for air. I tried not to cry, but I was weeping telling her goodbye. I promised I would come back for her. Danny promised we would bring her home.

Dan came to me a couple of nights ago, and said he was going to make another trip to see our daughter. He can't stand the thought of her wondering why her parents came for her brothers and not her. I can't tell you how much guilt I have over this decision. I kept thinking I couldn't do this to our precious girl, but then I couldn't leave Dominic and Malachi without a mommy and daddy either. I sit here crying just thinking about how angry I am that I made that decision. Or that I was forced to make that decision.

I have so much to make up for. I promise to spend my lifetime making it up to her, if she will only be allowed home. Please pray for all the children who have families who love them and want them home.

I Want to Hold Her Hand Forever.

 Cealy turned 5 on July 31st. Oh my heart this sweet child of ours. She feels so proud to be 5, tells everyone. Her heart, is so big and full of love. The way she celebrates her brothers. The way she makes them feel about themselves seems far beyond that of a 5 year old. Believe me, there is no perfection here, she enjoyed plowing into her brothers bike with him on it the other day...but she makes so many people happy. She will go to Kindergarten next year. I needed one more year. There I said it. It is me. She is ready, but next year I think she will be really ready...ha. We are doing school here in the morning and playing all afternoon.

Sure, I want to hold her hand forever. I am so afraid of someone hurting her heart. I have to remember that Jesus loves her more, and I am just here to help her through life. She has to get hurt in order to learn. Come on Amanda, remember Nemo! "I don't want anything to happen to you." Well then nothing will ever happen, and what is this thing called life? Oh my heart, that is hard for me. I was sitting not too far away from her when I heard two of her friends say she wasn't big. I saw her eyes well up. And then I did it. I went over and talked to her friends about her being big and not saying hurtful things. She just sat there, but I can't hold her hand forever, I tell myself over and over. I have been praying over that, and God has really helped me. She will have hurtful things said to her, she will say hurtful things, and she will learn. And I will be here to listen.

Happy 5th birthday to our Cealy. I am a better person because you have lived.