The Plight of the Orphan.

My passion started out wanting, hoping, praying that all the orphans in the world would find a loving family.  I saw their faces in books, meetings, or in my sleep.  I needed to help them find homes.  I saw Cealy and Sebastian in everyone of these children.  What if Cealy or Sebastian was born and no one wanted them?  What if no one wanted to love them and hold them when they were crying?  Oh, there was no doubt I had to fight for these children.

When my husband decided he too had this passion, we decided to bring our children home through adoption.  Then my focus became my children.  Selfish I became.  I wanted my children home.  I wanted God to keep them safe and healthy.  I didn't have patience.  Then I got an email that said a host of new people joined our agency from another.  "NOOOOOOO!"  is really what went through my head.  Then I had to smack myself.  "Amanda, have you lost what in life you want most for children?"  Yes, I had.

How amazing it is that more families are joining our agency.  How amazing it is that our agency is taking in all these families to help bring as many children as they can home.  I want all our children in this world to have a family that will go to the ends of the earth for them.  And so many more children will now have this.  What a blessing. 

So now while I am waiting, I can't help but smile.  I had no idea how many wonderful families wanted to bring children home this way.  I read on our forum everyday, a new family with wonderful news.  Twins coming home.  An 11 day old baby being presented to a family.  Two toddlers.  I rejoice.  I thank God.  I thank Jesus.  And I will wait.  I will wait for weeks, months, and years if it means that more children are coming home to their families. 

Being 3.

I think some may forget what it is like to be 3.  Believe me, most of my family and friends will tell you I am a strict mother.  We don't talk back in this house, and we expect a lot from our children.  However, I also remind myself daily how old Cealy is.

She is having a hard time in school.  She still cries everyday.  The other children have stopped, and understand their routine.  Ceal wants nothing to do with it.  It takes a lot for me to take her to school.  Really I would rather her stay home.  So her not liking school is difficult for everyone.

I have talked to Ceal about crying.  I was angry when I found out one day that she cried the whole 4 hours.  I will pick her up, thank you.

Cealy and I have a deal now.  If she cries in her day at school then she gets no fruit snacks.  Fruit snacks are Ceal's favorite food...her first word...her dream snack.  I have this down.  I am her mom.  I know my child.  So yes I became "crazy" today at school when I came in, and Cealy was crying in the line to go home.  I tried to get there before they lined up, but today I was 1 minute late.

A teacher that I had not met before was speaking to her like she was maybe six.  "Why are you crying, I told you your mom was coming?"  "You want me to put you in the car line?"

Now I got fired up.  The car line scares Ceal.  She is very sensitive, and does not like loud noises.  I spent all my teachers days making sure I knew my students.  Could you please get to know my daughter?

I bent down to hug Ceal and tell her she knew mommy was coming.  Then that same teacher asked her classmates?!? if she was the one who always cried?

I really wanted to just relax and let God.  I know he will take care of me and everyone else who judges others unfairly or treats someone in an unkind way.  I really wanted to.  I just couldn't.

So I made a little scene.  She is 3.  She is 3.  She is 3.  And shame on you for not loving her anyway.  She did not get her fruit snacks.  She was sad.  I was sad.  The deal was no crying.  But I will handle it, thank you.

Invisible.

Cealy loves to pretend.

Lately, she pretends she has friends over, but they are really invisible.
"Ella and I are splashing in the pool!" 
"Caroline needs chocolate milk too, Mom."-(Yes she thinks calling me mom is suitable these days.)
"Caroline can't stop laughing."
"Doc needs a snack."
"Sorry, Daddy, you have to sit somewhere else, because Caroline is sitting in that seat."
"Dry off Doc first, and then I will get out of the bath."

She even played in the basement by herself, because she took one of her invisible friends.

This is such a great phase!

Mr. Giggles

Surprise!

My little sister surprised our family from Switzerland.  I can't even tell you how happy we have all been.  She is the sweetest, most fun little thing on the planet. 

Sebastian is walking...sometimes.  It only took 14 months, but our little guy decided he could try it out.  Don't worry, he still loves for me to hold him all day.  He is the smiliest child on the planet.  I kiss him all day long, because I can't stop.  He smiles a great big smile all day.  I need this, because Ceal has decided tantrums are a good time.  She does not like school.  It breaks my heart.  I have figured out different ways to try and make it easier, and so far nothing has worked.  Today I picked her up, and the teacher told me she cried all day long.  I am not even that fun.  She is not allowed to watch tv, so we play or read books.  What can I change up?  Please help.

For my adoption loves:  Yes, you can email me anytime.  I am so sorry that my email is so hard to find on here: mannyleigh11@yahoo.com-   I will update you when we receive referrals!  No pictures will be posted here, but if you see me around, I will most definitely be carrying some!!

Working Mothers.

I love me some working mothers.  My bestest friends and sister are working mothers and I just want to hug them every chance I get.  I just want to say how much I truly respect you.  You work so hard, and still find time to love your babies with all your heart.  I meet Whitney many times after school, and I see her running around throwing a football with Aiden, and then racing Sloane up the hills...after her long day with 30 kids.  Aisha comes here after work and lets Cruz jump all over her, while trying to think what she is going to make for dinner after a l.o.n.g. day.  It is so important to be thankful for those mothers who work so hard.  Now, all mothers work very hard, but I have to own that working outside the home is harder sometimes.

I want to cry and punch my washer and dryer sometimes, because they are mean and always have laundry for me...then I have to remember that I get to do it during the day.  My girlfriend, Kristen with Drew who Ceal is obsessed with, once said, "Why do I always unload the dishwasher, then reload it, and have to start it again?"  I laughed out loud.  That is always true.  We have so many dishes the dishwasher always has a friend inside.

I remember being so upset kissing Ceal goodnight when I worked.  I was not going to see her much the next day.  I would let her stay up later, and knew I shouldn't but I felt so bad.  My sister feels bad putting Cruz in time-out.  She tells me coming home and then disciplining her baby in the two hours they get to play is just plain hard.  Courtney and I talk about that a lot.  You try so very hard to make sure they know they are loved.  It is hard being a mother period, and then adding a job intensifies the hardness.

My mom once told me she drank a cup of coffee around 5 at work.  She was ready for her next shift with her 3 daughters.  She could not be tired.  She had to do laundry, run around, play, laugh, bathe, and put to bed. 

I respect you.  I love you.  And I thank you.  All you hard working mothers.

Praying.

I find myself praying a lot.

I pray while cleaning up, getting dressed, playing with Cealy and Sebastian, or just taking time out to stop and pray.

A lot of my prayers lately have consisted of, "And you know what we really want, God, so please be the hands of those who choose our children."

And then I stopped to listen.  Which is rare, because I sure love to talk, but I am working on the whole Wise Old Owl thing.

God will choose who He wants for our family.  He will answer our prayers in His time and only He knows what is best for our family.

It sure is hard to give up control.

On another delicious note, I visited my favorite Give 1 Save 1 website and last week's family had a thank you video.  I loved them so much I of course gave them what I could and kissed them through my computer screen. (I must stop doing this bc Cealy has caught on and now kisses the screen to things thinking she is really kissing them).  Well, they thanked EVERYONE on their video individually.  Tears my friends.  Tears.