The Truth about Me.

How do you respond when someone compliments you?  I absolutely hate it.  Yes, I am awful with compliments.  "You have a lovely home."  I respond with, "Naaaa not really, it's okay I guess."  Geeeesh. 

"These boys are just so lucky to have you."  or  "You are the best mother."  or "I feel so proud to know you."-That one might be the worst.

Yikes!  I feel so unworthy of those comments so I feel there needs to be some clarity.  If you have thought about adoption and then compare yourself to the families who adopted, you would want to know the real them, right?

Here it goes:

1. I am the world's most pathetic driver.  Please ask my cousin who cannot ride in the car with me.  My 3 year old daughter gives me advice.  I will wait at a stop sign for an oncoming car that is thousands of feet away just because I don't think I can beat it.  I drive around roundabouts because I can't figure out which way to go.  True story.  If I have been to your house once, you will have to give me directions again and again, because I remember nothing.
2. I am a helicopter parent and wish I was laid back and 'cool' like some other moms.  I wish I didn't feel like Sebastian was going to fall or choke every second.  I read the stories and then I mark the food off for good.  Hotdogs did not enter this home until Cealy was 3 years old and even now I cut it up like cat food.
3. I am sarcastic.  Some people cannot catch on and end up thinking I am Coo Coo Cachoo. 
4. Sebastian is almost always in a diaper...and that is it.  I can't get the strength to clothe him.  I run around outside with him and people give me the stink eye, because it might not be 70 degrees but I want to invite them in to help me.
5. Sometimes I try all I can do to just fit in. So when Cealy is having a precious mother's day program and no other mom brought their barking 20-month old I do all I can to keep him quiet.  "Honey, he is wiping his Cheetos fingers all over your dress."  Yes, yes I know, but it is keeping him quiet for this 2 minute window.  And do you know how much stain stick it took to get off all the Cheetos mess on my dress?!?  I walked out of the room and one person after another was talking about my blue dress with newly orange stripes.  
6. I am terrible at changing diapers.  Yes, at 4 years in and two kids, you'd think I was a pro but I take 10 minutes to change a dirty and approx 35 wipes.  I always wonder how parents fold the wipe and delicately wrap the diaper up, when I am doused in poop every time.  
7. I scout out bullies at the park.  I know, I know!  You what?  Yes, if someone is picking on another child, God forbid mine, I lose everything adult about me. 
8. I am the chick playing with the kids at parties.  I play hide and go seek and people wonder why I can't conversate with the adults, but sometimes the kids are more fun.
9. I go from one thing to another really quick.  I planted one flower bed and then never planted again.  My flowers are still in their individual compartments, because I can't keep on task.
10.  I put everything in God's hands one minute and then run around like a crazy person the next second, saying, "My boys are never going to get here."
11. My shoes are usually worn by eighty year olds in the nursing home, but I like the way they look and rock it.
12. I compare myself to others constantly.  I look at another parent and think, "Holy potatoes, she does a lot of art projects with her kids"  The next day I am buying art supplies in hopes that my kids will be well adjusted.
13. My dresser doesn't have dresser pulls on it.  I shimmy the drawers out when I need something.  When I moved here two years ago, I told myself I would get some...
14. My clothes would scare any normal person daily.  My sister often says, "Quick, close your eyes, and tell me how many colors you are wearing."
15. I often offset my clothes by wearing too much make-up.  No, I don't grocery it up without make-up.  I am that girl.  Sometimes when I go to reapply, my bestie says, "You cannot get anymore on."  Thank you Whitney.
16. I think I want 8 kids.  And often times I cry with two.
17. I loved the baby bouncer so much I kept it in our bathroom wayyy past the time of Sebastian needing it.  I would trip over it.  Danny would run into it at 6am and the music would blare.  But I wanted to pretend I still had a baby in the house.   Does that scare you?
18. The truth is I am a ball of crazy.  Some of it is good and other parts I am working on.