My Nightmares.

I have these ongoing nightmares.  I wake up, and don't want to fall back asleep because they are awful.  It is so twisted how our minds work sometimes.

Last night I was saving one of my best friends who was drowning.  There was another girl drowning with her.  I had to pick my friend.  The other one looked like she was already dead.  I get back and everyone is shouting, "Why did you leave the other girl?"  I remember vividly what she looked like.  Then I woke up. 

These nightmares happen on and off. 

Then I realized that most of my day I am worried about picking up our sons...and leaving our daughter.  It is hard to talk to others about, so I end up having nightmares about it.

It is hard to write.  It is hard to think about.  How do you tell a six-year-old who has experienced more loss in her short lifetime than anyone I know, that you are taking her brothers, but promise to come back for her? 

I know God will take care of this.  He is the hero here.  He will take care of our daughter while we are gone, just as He has our sons. 

Plus, she could be excited I am leaving, right?  I mean, she could be like, are you real life thinking you are taking me far away from everything I know and love?  See you later, goodbye.

I don't know how it will be, but I ask for your prayers.  Not for me.  All mothers endure hardships.  Pray for our sweet girl.  Pray for her heart.  Pray for the courts.  God and Jesus have a plan.  Jesus will be with her.  They love her and will protect her.

Here's to no more nightmares.