I'm Beyond Tired...

I have many questions when I reach the golden gates (hopefully no time soon), and one at the top of my list is:

1. Why do women have to be pregnant 40 weeks, deliver the baby with extreme pain (cramps get worse with the more children you have...awesome), AND be in charge of feeding it with a body part that will hurt so unbelievably bad you will want to cut them off??--Being the feminist that I am, I cannot understand why the man does not have to do any of those things mentioned. I mean really?? Oh and wake up every 3 hours to feed the baby so you are a crazy mess all day raising your other child....Just a quick question.

So everything is great here.

2 weeks post Sebastian.

iThe first two weeks have been a lot of work. Two is much different than one, and let no one tell you any different. Having my own thoughts is a struggle. Let me tell you that cooking in the first couple of weeks is a doozy and wasn't going to happen in this house so thanks to Marm and Alicia and Courtney I had LOTS of meals. Alicia, Courtney and their mother should start a restaurant because their cooking is Yow-mazing!! Nothing like your husband's sisters cooking being WAY better than your own. But it is quite okay, because I own it. I sure did let him know that his sister's cooked us some delicious meals, and he needed to take it all in for two weeks, because it may not ever get better than this.

So daddy has to get used to holding TWO babies, because anytime he holds Sebastian, Cealy climbs right up into his lap. Cealy doesn't mine me holding my sweet boy, but daddy is a different story.

Cealy is a peach with Sebastian. She loves him! Every time she walks in the door, she wants to know exactly where he is. She wakes up and wants to see him right away. She always asks, "Hold him mommy?"


This is Cruz, Ella, Cealy, and Avery. Ella and Avery are my best friend Courtney's girls. I love them. This picture is especially hilarious because I LOVE that Ella is putting her arm around Cruz, while strangling him at the same time. Cealy and Sebastian will grow up with good friends and have pictures like this that make me so happy.

This is Cealy and Sebastian with my best friend and family friend Kelly. There are mucho pics of Kelly already on here because she is secretly my sister-wife. We went on a cruise together with Cealy when she was very young and Kelly helped mother her the whole time! I love Kelly and her family and now I am close and she can visit anytime! Cealy made her play upstairs and dance in her room. She also gave Kelly orders so that means she remembers Kelly as her other mom!

Marm with Sebastian. Marm came and played with Ceal and cooked for us so we could stay sane. Marm gets crazy with you, and you cry every time she leaves. You even tell me you are leaving to go to Marm and Feve's house. "Bye Mommy, see you real soon."

Mamaw holding Sebastian. She is stunning! The most beautiful great-grandmother on earth!!

Mamaw and Papaw with Sebastian. Is there anyone cuter?? I love them!

Sebastian's first bath! Ceal cried the whole time, because she didn't like Sebastian crying and she also didn't like his umbilical cord still attached. She thought there was something wrong with him, and cried harder than he did.

This picture cracks me up of Ella and Ceal. Ella is a character. Cealy loves playing with her, so I make Court get over here any chance she gets.

Sebastian Rex Larner.

Our first night home we snuggled on the couch. I love these moments.

Aunt Courtney came to visit you in the hospital.

Here you are with Aunt Ellie.

Aunt Jess came to bring Cealy to meet you and held you while she was wild woman around the room.

Cealy was so excited to meet you, but didn't want to hold you right away. Now Cealy asks me about 50 times a day to hold you. "Hold Brother?" She calls you "Boo Boo, snuckoms, brother, and booger." I wonder where she gets these names. Cealy stayed with Aunt Jess for two days and my mom and Steve for two days. She was treated like the Queen she is, and bossed everyone around. Aunt Jess made you people pancakes the first day, and took you to play with grand Pam too! You went out to eat, swam, played outside, and ran errands with my mom and Feve as you call him. What a lucky girl you are!

You were named after your grandfather, Rex, my dad. We want our children to have middle names that stay in the family. Rex went perfectly with your first name and it means, King, so what else could be better? Ha. Our grandparents send down life lessons. It is important to live your life and remember those that preceded you. You have amazing grandparents with incredible life stories. There is always a lesson to be learned.

Your beautiful Grandmother, Deb. Incredible woman she is.

You with your grandfather, Doug. Danny and I had to pick between two boy names, Sebastian Rex or Roman Douglas. We better have another boy because I love both names!

My most handsome little boy was born on August 16, 2011. I fell completely in love with him the second I held him, and couldn't believe how much love I had for him right away. I knew what to expect with a C-section, but I was still nervous. I got sick right before you came out, and thought it would never end. I had an Amazing doctor who is a peach, and great nurses who took pictures and told jokes. I am always up for dry humor, so we got along just fine.

You are such a love, and snuggle right up to anyone who holds you. Today you are almost two weeks old and sleep like a dream! Please keep this up my love. One night you slept for 7 hours, and when I woke up I did a little sleep dance for you. Super impressed my love. Probably because you drink 4 ounces of breast milk, and most newborns only drink 2. You weighed 9 pounds 6 ounces at your first week appointment. You rolled over twice for the doctor who was shocked. She told me many times she had never seen that before. When we got home I videotaped you rolling from your stomach to back at one week old for the world to see!

July 31st-Two Years Old!

You and Aubrey at your birthday party. Cruz was being fed and did not want in the picture until the bottle was completely finished!

My precious girl!

Could Nana be anymore beautiful? Pop and Nana came over on your birthday and took us to eat at your favorite new place, CR Heros where Nana spilt a drink and you called her messy for days!

Pop and Nana bought you a Sophie cake that you talking about for days until you ate the whole thing!

You are so big! First and foremost there is no other two-year-old as fun as you. You are hilarious. We are learning time-out, because of saying, "Stop-Stop" to me or hitting and thinking it is funny. You do not like time-out and it is unusual for you to go there, because you really are such a great kid! While I was making dinner this evening, you put your baby in time-out. I followed where you were going and you took her right to the spot where your time-out is. You told her, "Time out for saying, Stop-Stop...no crying baby." I couldn't believe it! I felt so bad. I told you that baby needed to come out of time-out and you said okay and went to get her. Then you fed her cheerios. You could not be any cuter.

You count to 20 and know all your colors. You speak so well to me, but you do not like to talk around people you don't know very well. You will talk your family's ear off, but if someone comes over you go mute and watch their every move. You are very smart. You went to your two year appointment at your doctor and are still in the 90th percentile for height. You are such a tall girl. You eat well, eating most anything we put on your plate. You are just like your mother and will eat peanut butter by the jar.

You LOVE your family and ask for them constantly. You love your grandparents and Aunts and Uncles. Keke has been helping us out so much, and I could not thank her enough! Auntie Aisha is taking time off while I am in the hospital to take care of me. I feel extremely blessed with my family!! You are staying with Aunt Jessie and Marm and Feve while I am away. Keke is in Switzerland and then is coming home to help for a couple of weeks. She cannot move there full-time or mommy will go crazy. She loves her sisters, and cannot live without them.

Our Big Move!

Our new home!

An alligator pool, Cealy's park (as you say), and a sandbox all for you!

You water the flowers everyday with me with your watering can. It is so sweet!

We are in Indy! We moved last week to our new home. You are having so much fun. Marm and Steve bought you a sandbox that you play in most everyday. Dad and I bought you an alligator pool with a sprinkler in it. Ella came to play with you yesterday and you both played in the pool. Papa Rex bought you a kitchen for your playroom and it is huge! You have a fake grill, and lots of fake food you fix for anyone who comes over. We water the flowers everyday and always have someone to visit. It is so much fun! I miss certain aspects of Chicago, but I believe we belong here. Your dad also bought us a new car! We are rolling a van. Now I never thought I would be one to drive a van, but this is the coolest car I have driven. The doors open automatically, and you have a lot more room. So go on and make some fun, because while my friends are cramped but in style, I am loving life in my sweet mini.

You love your new home. I put most of your toys in the basement. I created a fun space for you to play and have all your toys. I put all your books and puzzles upstairs, so we can read and have fun upstairs too. Pop and Nana painted all the rooms that needed it before we got here! They painted your room green and we put up butterflies! I love your new room! Pop and Nana also got the house all ready for us and added a beautiful bench to our kitchen. This is my favorite part of the whole house! We sure are loved!

Your brother is coming very soon, so we are preparing his room as well. You know where his room is, and you like to go in and say, "Bastian's room." We got to swim today with Marm, KeKe and Cruz. This was so much fun for you and me. You sleep most anywhere and I set up your pack-n-play in Marm's bathroom and you went right to sleep. You are still the BEST sleeper anyone could ask for.

Danny is working hard at his new job. It is a difficult move for him, because he loved his job in Chicago so much. So we must feel very blessed and thankful, because all things come at a cost. I think we will love this neighborhood. There are older kids who live around us, but we have not walked far because I am nine months pregnant and it is 100 degrees outside. I took a walk with you yesterday with Keke and had two cars stare me down wondering why in the world I would be walking in this heat. Or did they think they saw a live Buffalo?? No one knows for sure.

Almost Two!

Cecilia my love, you are almost two! You are my favorite thing to do, watch, love, and simply be around. All the things you can do before you are two is amazing! You count to ten, but skip five because you don’t like the number. You know most of your letters and some of the sounds they make. You know all your animals, and are learning more by the day. The other day I was cooking, and you came into the kitchen and said, “mmmmm, m” I looked down and you were holding the letter m. When we walk down the street, you stop and point to all the letters you see. You LOVE the letter C!

You definitely have an attitude, so strict parenting it is. When you are in the next room you scream, “Mommy!” When I don’t respond right away, you scream, “Anda!” (Amanda) The first time your dad and I were shocked, and now you are starting to get in trouble for calling your mother by her first name. You also tell me every time you don’t like something. “No phone, Mommy” No puter, Mommy” No kissin Daddy, Mommy” My favorite is when you look at your Mom and Dad and say, “Mommy happy, Daddy happy, Celia happy.” I will never forget how much you love telling us you are happy.

You love to change diapers. You change George’s diaper and say, “Dang you stinky!” I now must think before I talk, because obviously you hear everything! You are obsessed with some Curious George. This was not your stuffed animal, but you took it from Cruz and sleep with him every night. It is impossible to tell you “No” when you ask, “Hold you?” It is so sweet, and even being 8 months pregnant, I pick you right up and carry you anywhere. You are my precious girl! I am beyond blessed to have you, and thank God for you everyday.

You love to help feed Cruz! I am feeding him here, and he looks all around the room while eating! He wants in all the action!

Cruz's first time swinging! Auntie Aisha didn't swing him too high, but your dad seems to think you need to wrap around the swing set in order to have a good time.

My precious boy and you hanging out in your chair. He grabs your face and hair so hard, but you never get mad at him. (Just when he cries.)

Staying at Home.

Work is coming to an end. It is going to be very sad for me. I love my job. It has been the hardest year teaching for me, because some of my kids were defiant, had ADHD, came from very rough families, or were so amazing I wanted them for my own. When I go to sleep at night, I love knowing that my babies (they hate when I call them this) know I will be there for them. Some of my kids make me a better me. They teach me to be thankful for everything I have. They teach me not to judge any type of community, because unless you have lived someone's life, there is no way you can judge how you would live it. I will always remember my children. I love them, pray for them, and carry their lessons for a lifetime.

I have decided to stay at home with you and your brother, because I want to have those years with you. This is not something I take lightly. Many stay-at-home moms do not get the credit they deserve. Many of my friends who stay at home miss their careers terribly, talk with children all day long, and don’t always feel that big sense of accomplishment. I am told you will feel the up-most accomplished when your kids are grown. Being at home with you part-time this year was extremely rewarding. We did so many things together. We always looked for an adventure, and I will always remember our time together. I will never regret seeing you and your brother grow every step of the way. I already have friends asking me when I am going to put Cealy in school. I can't even imagine not being with you all day my little Ceal. I will do my best to teach you everyday, and then let go when I have to.

I will cherish our time together, because I know how hard it is for working moms to work all day and not see their kids all the time. It can be exhausting. It is a prayer I say during the day. "Thank you Lord for allowing me this time with Cealy. I know many mothers would do anything for it."

So as I leave, I have a heavy heart. I know I will go back. I can’t promise I will work in the inner city. It is extremely challenging, and the workload is at times unthinkable. However, I have a feeling I will be pulled in that direction. I believe everyone has a calling and most times God needs me there. I thank my school in Chicago for allowing me the opportunity to grow into the teacher I have become in those three years. I thank some of the community for embracing me and many of the moms for treating me with such respect and love. You are my family.