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Truth.

I can't trust people who like the snow.

There I said it.

And I'm serious.

Forgetting His Miracles.

The kids and I have been reading through the Bible. The kids version of course, which is great for me too considering I still think like a child. As we're reading, I am thinking to myself and saying out loud, "Wow, people sure were dumb thousands of years ago. They can't get a clue. God works out miracle after miracle but the minute something goes wrong, they forget about Him again."

Seriously. God's blessing protected the Israelites time and time again. They cheered in amazement. Then days later, they forgot all about what God did for them. They even began worshiping false gods and statues. I looked at my kids, "These people were real whack back then."

Then I started thinking. Oh.my.word. I am these people. I am the queen of thanking God for His blessing, and quickly forgetting what He did for me.

I was positive I would not find a good job in Chicago. I interviewed at a school where I didn't want to teach. It was a brutal beginning. It was some of the best written pages of my life. God chose that school, and that story for me, but somehow I forget.

I whined and pleaded for God to send us back to Indianapolis. It wasn't 3 months later that Dan's company talked to him about a position in Indianapolis. I am sure I thanked God, but soon forgot.

I had two of God's biggest blessing running around when I really wanted to adopt our next child. It wasn't long after our first adoption meeting that God blessed us with the two most amazing boys on the planet. Their picture had me crying for days. There were many bumps on that journey and a lot of waiting. You best believe, I was shouting at ever bump. "God, you are leaving me here!" "You aren't even there are you?" "I am so angry with you!" I lost faith the minute something went wrong in my life.

God presented the biggest blessing after a year of waiting. A daughter. One of the hardest times of my life was last Christmas when I was sure God wasn't in the details. I thought our children were never coming home. I was sure God wasn't there. I was sure acting like my brothers and sisters thousands of years ago, and forgetting ALL He had done for me.

Leaving Congo without my children, I will spare you the things I said to our Father. I was angry, and forgot about the huge miracles he worked out. The Isrealites saw Him part water through Moses. They saw the walls of Jericho fall by simply shouting as God commanded them to do. They saw the sun stand still for Joshua as God was with Him. I experienced miracle after miracle through my profession, personal life, lives of my children, and I still couldn't get it together.

I am sure I will falter again. I am a big sinner. Thank you God for sending your son. Thank you Jesus for giving your life so we can be apart of your family. God is in the details everyday, mostly I don't allow my eyes to see it, but I'm working on it.

Story of My Life.

Tread Lightly.

Awhile back, I removed myself from an online adoption group. I went there for support. In the beginning, I loved writing down the websites people recommended and buying the helpful books people shared. Too soon, parents started attacking one another. One mom thought she was president of the ethics committee, while another thought one way or hit that highway. If you are new to adoption, tread lightly in adoption groups. Most likely, your story will not match up to anyone else's anyway so hearing their words of wisdom may not be so helpful. You will watch people polish the stones they throw only forgetting what grace and humility looks like. I woke up one morning and checked my facebook. Super embarrassing that I just admitted to doing this when I woke up but here we go anyway. A FB friend was asking for prayers. Prayers that would hurt members of her adoption community because they didn't do things her way. Come.on.now. Mean. Spend less time polishing and throwing your stones. You might have more time to do something you really love. Knitting? (I'd be terrible but would love a scarf if you do!) T25? (Kicks my flippin butt every time) Serving others? (I need to get on this bandwagon too)  Love your neighbor, friends, geesh.

My two little mittens. Malachi likes to call me funny names, so I always think of something new to nickname him.

Could you back off me buddy?

My worker bee. She does everything for her brothers, this child of mine.

Home School and Life Together.

I can't even believe I am writing a post titled this. If you would have asked me 10 years ago if I would ever and I mean ever mutter the word, home school, I would tell you, "No, never." And here I am today. Many details aside, I am only homeschooling this year, but what a year it is already. I know so many amazing, cool women who home school their children now. They have taught me a lot.

This is our breakfast most mornings. My children love eggs, hash browns, and ketchup. If there is left over ketchup, you best believe it is licked up. Now that would gross anyone out besides myself, because I love some ketchup too!

During breakfast we are reading, 365 stories in their new children's bible. We just finished up Genesis where Joseph forgave his brothers after they sold him into slavery. Sebastian was obsessed with the animal blood put on his coat after his brothers faked his death. It is amazing how much my understanding grows after reading with them. I am usually just as shocked as them when reading about these amazing people and the lives God created for them.

After breakfast we start centers. I try to get them ready the night before. I have all puzzles and index cards organized in baggies. Malachi is a beast at 4 letter puzzle words right now. He put them together and then asks everyone to celebrate his successes. Dominic is dominating his colors. When he gets them all right, he wants to call daddy. Sebastian loves art and stickers. If I am trying to teach one child something, I will bury Sebastian in sticker books, so I can concentrate on someone besides him. I am starting a program right now for Cealy. I am anxious to see if it works. If it does I will report back!

I have a lot to catch up on with my kiddos. So we read a lot of books. I am talking we leave the library with at least 15 books every time, and come back to the library with at least $10 worth of fines. Books expose them to words and worlds that I would not use or imagine on my own.

I let them play....a lot. I play with them when I can, because I know that's important too. I am trying to slow down. I don't want to schedule something for everyday. When I am home and sitting with one of them, I learn more about them in that moment than anywhere outside our home. I am more tired than ever before. Sometimes, I crawl to bed while my kitchen is crawling with muck and dishes all over.

We have a star chart right now! I'll post pictures of that later. When they fill it all up, they get something special. So far, they have only filled it up once, and we bought fish for their fish tank! They have chores and must clean up their messes, and they get a whole lot of nothing for that. That is expected. When they go above and beyond and love each other with a Jesus heart, they get a star on their family chart. Then we celebrate that child or brother or sister for adding a star to the chart. We are working together. 

God is good.

Malachi. Seriously? Our neighbor girls love him. It is ridiculous. He just walks outside and is smothered in love. The other day I caught him telling our sweet neighbor to take him this way and that, pointing his finger and forgetting all manners and sweet behavior. We had a talk, and now he at least says please and thank you.

Best part about having my babes home is going to the Zoo on warm days just because we can! This day, everyone was done eating except Sebastian who decided on bringing the last bit of tater tots with him.

I took a minute video of the tiger on this day! He kept circling around and getting so close to the kids, the would scream and laugh! I was impressed at his work out skills.

On this day, Sebastian decided he didn't like ANY of his socks, never mind that they are also his brother's socks. He threw them away in the trashcan and then covered them up with trash. That would be a broken egg on top of it all. 

 

 

 

 

 

Am I Worthy? Thinking about adoption?

Absolutely not.

Who is worthy of God's most beautiful treasures?

Children are God's greatest gifts in my experience. It doesn't matter how they come to be yours. God will choose who is in your family, and that gift will be your greatest gift of all time. The one you thank God for the most when you meet Him.

Sometimes, I feel like people may think that because I adopted I must be some upstanding citizen. "Oh bless you child," I once heard, to which I responded, "Ha!" No way does she passes double yellow lines when someone is driving so slow she is pulling her hair and yelling. No way is she always late to school, and loses at least one child at drop off? She must never make mistakes? I bet she never yells? I bet she never forgets to make lunch? I bet she doesn't lay on the couch with a headache and demand playtime in bedrooms for the hour? I bet she is Mrs. Dugger (whom I love) and never raises her voice? I bet she says all the right things?

My answer is, I mess up all the time. You must not be perfect to adopt. You must be ready to love.

Not everyone is called to adopt. However, the more I spend time with my children, the more I want to be an adoption advocate. Not because it is easy, but because I am better for it. My children make me sweeter, smarter, more loving, outgoing, sillier, and all the better, because I am their mother. They push me to be better. And my throat tightens up when I think about my children without me as their mother. Not because I am perfect or even newsworthy. But because they are awesome, and I wouldn't want to miss out on that.

I can't tell you how many times I have heard, "I always wanted to adopt." I love that about people. They share their passions and regrets with me. Even strangers.

Please, if this is something on your heart, go for it. Children deserve families, and you will be better for it.