"I'm Not Going To Spend My Life Being A Color."

Cealy and I were reading one of her library books yesterday.  I started getting a couple 'educational' books.  We were reading a book about opposites.

I was reading away, when I stopped.  "Mommy, read it."  I couldn't.  The book had a black character on one side and a white on the other.  Opposites?  I didn't want to read it.  I wanted to skip it.  But Cealy will catch you if you're sneaky.

I don't want Cealy to be "colorblind."  I understand those repercussions.  I want her to embrace differences when she sees them.  I want all my children to seek out differences and want them to be on their team.  I don't want them to think anyone is opposite from them, because deep down we all have pain, love, joys, and dreams.

I just could not read to Cealy that this author she loved so much says black and white are opposites.  And I guess when you dig into the color wheel, they are on opposite sides.  Cealy knows her brothers are black.  They are framed right next to her bed, and she hugs them every.night.  I don't want her to think her brothers are opposite of her. 

I had to think about it, and then I brought the book back to her.  And so it begins.  "Cealy, this says, black and white are opposites.  Just like a zebra's stripes.  They are opposite colors."  Now she was off to play, she is 3.  But I needed her to understand more.  Because at 3, she could still make someone feel as if they did not belong.  "Our world is filled with amazing differences.  Some people have short hair, red hair, even blue hair, and some people have no hair.  Some people are brown, white, or black.  We all really have different shades.  Aunt Keke is much darker than mommy.  Some people have one mommy and some people have two!"

"Okay, Mommy." 

I don't know what that okay meant.  But she heard me.  She hugged her brother's picture the same before bed.  I will continue to talk about differences to Ceal, and make sure she sees that as beautiful, because that is my job.  I will educate my sons and make sure they know the world around them.  Being black is different than being white.  But we are not opposites.

I just went to my computer, and turned on one of my favorite M.Jackson classics, and sang, "I'm not going to spend my life being a color."

Huh? What's Your Favorite?

Are you looking for a gift this Christmas?  I want to share with you Cealy and Sebastian's favorite toy from last year.  I mean favorite.  365 days a year favorite.  Friends come over, let's play with it favorite.  Jaw-Dropping Favorite.  It is a must on every child's list.

Do we think this?  Fancy.  Rock climbing wall...slide, driving wheel, ship?  No.  This is not it.

 Their ultimate favorite toy is the BOX this great toy came in above.  Yes, you heard me.  I am talking all day long let's play in our "fort."  Friends come over, Thanksgiving with 6 kids, and no one wants to play with the kitchen...the ship...the dollhouse...

Save your money friends...Go to Lowes and ask one of the sweet workers for a big box in the back...tell them you'll even pay $15 for it...it will be your Best.Present.Ever.

Happy Tuesday!

Happy Tuesday indeed, I just got 10 new pictures of the most beautiful boys!!  Oh my heart is full and I have been smiling since.  M & D are beautiful, and I cannot wait to have them home!

Smile.

Cealy helped me rake all the leaves and bag them.  Then I put her in the tree and told her to take a nap.  She thought that was hilarious...I L.O.V.E. this child.

Feed or let him feed himself is thy question?  He loves to feed himself, and I love to clean him up for 20 minutes?  I L.O.V.E this child.

Try Reading to an Inquisitive 3 Year Old.

What is that?  A poster. 

Why is the little girl holding the poster?   Because she is taping it up...

Why is she taping it up?   Because she is running for president.

Why is her hand still on the poster if she taped it up?  Because it is a picture.

Why is her face sad?  Because she thinks the boy next to her will win.

Why is the boy going to win?  He is not, the little girl thinks he might.

Why is that little girl sad in the background?  I don't know she is just in the park, the story is not about that little girl.

Why is she sad though?  Cealy, if you want me to read the book you have to stop.asking.questions.

A little later, Cealy ran into the kitchen and said, "Mommy, I bet that little girl was sad at the park because she lost her daddy and couldn't find him."   I bet you are right, Cealy.

Some Fun.

Queen Miss Match.

I turn around and Mr. Jokes is hiding.

Well that's funny.  You have two high chairs?  Ah, yes I do!  And I sure do put Sebastian in which ever one is clean. 

Biology.

I will probably write many posts concerning this topic.  It seems to be important to some people.

Today I felt great about it, because I had an adoption class.  Our agency has a.m.a.z.i.n.g. classes for parents to take before their children come home.  We should all take classes.  I realized so many things I do wrong with my children now.  I feel great about being able to redo some of my mistakes and show my children where I was wrong.

Our teacher today started out with a powerful quote, "Research in neuroscience shows how we parent our children affects their brain biologically."  No matter how our children come to us, friends, we as parents affect them biologically.

I was taken that moment.  Taken.

Biologically?  Wow.  I can affect my sons biologically?  I can encourage them, praise them, discipline them, and above all love them and this in turn will affect them biologically?

How amazing is that?  I have the weight of affecting my boy's lives biologically.  We will teach our sons how to live moral lives and they will pass this on to their children and their children's children.

This is nothing short of miraculous.

We will love our children above all else.  We will encourage our children to love their neighbor as God has loved us.

How about another one?  Are you ready for this?  I almost cried when our social worker/teacher told us this.  I almost said, "You have no idea how much you have lifted me up, thank you!"

"Our mistakes as long as we repair them will make our children stronger in the long run.  So if you make a mistake and you apologize and repair that mistake, your children will be stronger because of it."

Did you just read that line? 

Did you hear me when I said your children will be better because of you repairing your mistakes?

She then said, "Our shortcomings are a good thing, as long as you see them and address them."

I breathed a big sigh.  I am human.  I will continue to make mistakes, but I must address those for my children.  I must continue to put myself in time-out like I did this week, and tell my children I messed up and mommy is in trouble for it.  30 minutes won't work for her time-out but let's drop it down to 4 minutes?  (Cealy kept saying, "Mommy, please get out of time-out.  I forgive you."  I yelled by the way because she threw a book.  I needed the time-out)

I love to learn.  I hope to learn how to parent, teach, and be a better person altogether until God brings me home.